Hey! I'm available for hire (and I appreciate tips)  

Vs lbh nfxrq Oehpr Fpuarvre gb qrpelcg guvf, ur'q pehfu lbhe fxhyy jvgu uvf ynhtu. - Schneier Facts

Lucky for me, I didn't ask him. I asked a retard.

Hopefully, if you're wondering what the above text means, you find this page. Hopefully, if you're offended by retards, you didn't.

By AJ ONeal

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Also, you can give me a tip or hire me.