@venmo: the e-cashier's-check. Money already withdrawn & guaranteed. Payee MUST claim it. No but-I-don't-have-venmo nonsense. #NeverLookBack

People are sometimes ridiculous

The problem with paypal is that people are always all like

well, I don't use paypal

and then you have to be all like

well, get it

and then they have to be all like

it's to complicated and takes too much time and I want money without having to do any work to get it

and then you're all like

This isn't a communist country. You have to do work to get money - nothing new here!

and PayPal is all like

Bob wants to send you money and you can sign up and fill out forms and stuff and stuff and it will go into your account and eventually maybe one day you can turn it back into real money if you get a debit card or navigate through the twelve-thousand layers of our interface to find the add bank button and wait two weeks for it to get verified.

and then Venmo kicks PayPal in the balls with

Bob sent you money. It's already in your account (that you didn't even know you had because we just made it right now and it's done been did). Sign in and claim it.

and adds as an anecdote

Oh, and when you hit the cashout button for the first time you should probably put in your account numbers in correctly... because we're sending it today, like, now... and it's not even our fault that your bank makes you wait 3 days to get it.

and then I'm all like

I already sent it. It's already in your account. I already made the decision. I can't undo the transfer.

and it turns out that despite the anxiety of having to try something new, since there is no other option once the decision is made, it's a done deal.

Call me a punk for forcing hands, but I don't mind requiring my friends to download the app (or login to the website) against their will with the excuse of "it's done been did" - besides, I'll just call you a punk right back for making this damnable business of money so complicated.

Grammar lessons

Venmo is present tense with a clear call to action.

PayPal is indefinite, conditional, future tense.

Venmo is sometimes wrong

The fact that I actually paid $975 for 3 slices of pizza (and was immediately re-credited by my friend) and that they allow you to send money to your bank account before the verification is complete goes to show that Venmo isn't always playing it on the safe side.

But it is exactly like a Cashier's Check - no customer service, no refunds, and no guarantees (other than that the person with the check has the cash).

Despite that, the point of all this is that I still appreciate a good benevolent dictator from time to time to just make decisions and stick by them - right or wrong - so that the world can be a simpler place.

And in this case, simpler place, means a place where I can just send people money the way that's easy for me and then have them deal with their trivial anxieties about how difficult they think it is to transfer money electronically on their own time instead of mine. (and as it turns out, once you get over the phobia - meaning unrealistic and unfounded anxiety - it turns out to be easy for them as well)


P.S. I had that anxiety / phobia at first too. So many of us are jaded by supposed advances in technology and I'm certainly one of them. But I'm glad I put by big boy pants on and downloaded the app (eventually).

Oh, and coupled with Simple (Bank), Venmo is the bomb dot com! #NoBetterWayToHandleYourMonies #Booya


4 and counting.


Haha! Who's eating their veggies now?! Yeah, you can take that too the bank! (pun intended)

And the moral of the story is

You can't trust the system!

I love both PayPal and Venmo, but for different reasons.

PayPal is great to protect against shady business transactions where you want the security guarantee of a credit card, but don't even trust the person / entity / business enough to give them that.

Venmo is great for sharing money with people you already trust and forcing them to keep it simple, sometimes against their will.

By AJ ONeal

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